Worst Memorial Day Ever

I will start this odyssey with the preface that a flight I was on was 9 hours late and I was constantly teased throughout the trip which resulted in the worst Memorial Day of my life.

I awoke early Memorial Day to catch an early flight back to Chicago. The day was looking to be quite enjoyable, get home in time for lunch, a relaxing afternoon off of work, barbeque for dinner and perhaps renting a movie to retire a relaxing evening of fun. But little did I know that this vision of the future was impossible. Leaving at 7 am, we were an hour and a half early to catch our 9:18 flight. We even boarded on time and sat right through the 9:18 take off time with the notice that an engineer was working on our plane's radio. After nearly an hour of sitting on a plane, we were informed that the plane was offically broken and we were to deboard the aircraft. Our first notice was that the part to fix the radio would not arrive until later and then we would have a 2:15 departure. This I found not too difficult to bear. Then they even announced that there was a chance that the part would be able to be sent through another airport and we would be able to depart at about 12:30. This was great news, until 12:30 came and went with not a word from any airline employee. We did recieve a $7 meal voucher after we had ordered our lunch and then were refused a refund for the voucher. While waiting we saw two flight depart for Chicago without incident. 12:30 came and went with no notice about the status of the plane. So finally we got back on the plane at quarter to two and prepared for takeoff. The plane soared into the air as all the passanger inside foolished dreamed of an enjoyable afternoon. First we had to deal with stupid loud drunk idiots in the back of the plane making the same jokes and laughing and swearing. I had two people tell be that I should 'take care of' one of the jerks, one request from the elderly woman sitting behind me and a second from one of his buddies. Two hours later we were approaching our destination and recieved notice of this over the intercom, "The weather looks good in Chicago and we should be touching down in about 30 minutes." Only four and a half hours late...fantastic. About ten minutes later the pilot came on again, "No flights are landing in Chicago due to the weather and we do not have enough fuel to circle until the weather clears so we are going to Grand Rapids, Michigan to refuel and wait until the weather clears. No one on the plane could believe it. We were waiting for the announcement that they were just joking and we were going to touch down shortly, but no announcement ever was delievered. So we did actually land in Grand Rapids and were told that we would taxi for about 20 minutes. At this point I seriously considered renting a car and driving the rest of the way home. We were only 3 hours away by car and the way the trip was going that would probably be faster than waiting for the plane, ultimately it would have been. If it wasn't for the checked bag in the cargo hold of the plane, I am fairly sure that I would have rented a car. We were just ready to get off the plane at nearly any cost. But we were forced to bear the rest of the plane trip. The 20 minutes came and went when we were told that it'd be another 20 minutes. All the while the airline managed to cram the plane full of people, including a baby that from the sound of it was getting stabbed with a hot poker over and over again. As the baby cried, the idiots yelled, the cool air flow ceased, and my blood pressure rised, we were told that we were going to the runway and we were first in line and cleared for takeoff. Cynicism began to infest me as I had little faith in anything I was told. Both my girlfriend and I were about ready to call it a day and try again tomorrow. But after sitting on the runway in a scorchingly hot plane with loud baby and other people who were not much smarter, we actually began to move. We were in the air and headed back. The rest of the trip proceeded without incident other than the annoyance of everything that I had accepted as my life. So finally our flight that was suppose to arrive at 10:48 am got in at 7:41 pm. The adventure was finaly over and the work week was only a few hours away. It's a shame...I usually cherish my days off.

Dreams

I have had some strange dreams in the past two days. First on Sunday night I dreamed that I was taking part in an NFL Idol type of show where you get and NFL contract for doing endzone dances and flexing you muscles. But the real reason that I went on the show was to get a table back, which was stolen from me. I took the table back and was pursued by the police until the realized that it was really my table. On my way home I saw some sort of super brewing store where you could make your own beer in large batches and buy all the equipment and ingredients that you'd ever need. I talked with someone brewing their own beer and unfortunately I forgot what they were putting in it. It was probably a winning combination. But I did rememeber the specific gravity of the brew, it was 1.17 which is something like 23% alcohol. This dream was quite strange because it was very detailed and specific.

Then last night I had a dream that my boss crashed one of my family gathering to make me work. I think that I was suppose to be in church or something and then I got a call from him and I had to go see him. We worked during the entire whatever was going on and I hated him a lot for it. Then today in real life we had a problem and he went on a tear. So I think that what my dreams are trying to tell me is that I need a new job, specifically playing football, brewing beer, or perhaps selling tables.

Something for Nothing

Something for nothing was my motto for last weekend. First we had an all you can drink party and then I got a free lunch on Sunday due to a kitchen mistake which was untoiced by me. So I spent some time comparing getting the free beer and the free meal. I came to the conclusion that I liked the free meal more because it was certainly unexpected. When I opened the bill after lunch and saw that the total was $2.00, that was really something. Unexpected and quite pleasant. The open bar was a really good time, but I was expecting it for a month so I build it up in my head a little bit. I guess the point is that there such a thing as a free lunch, you just have to pay for it.

Losing a Whole Year

Yesterday was the 365th day that I have been working since graduating college. The day wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. I didn't even have a beer to celebrate (see last blog for why). Now the routine truely begins. But on the plus side, if I work until I am 65 years old, then I have completed 1/43rd of my working career.

Why This Past Weekend Sucked

1) Diarrhea
2) 2 pre-8am rugby matches
3) 1 pre-8am rugby loss
4) Walking into my hotel room to a 300 pound topless man eating spagetti in his bed
5) Needlessly driving 3 hours to the airport to drop someone off
6) No Stand-by flights
7) 7 hours sitting in a Chilis at the airport
8) A $120 Chilis tab
9) Getting home at midnight on Sunday
10) Almost leaving my iPod on the plane

Getting Away II

Weekend forecasts:

Chicago, IL
Friday: 70% chance of rain, high 48
Saturday: 60% chance of rain, high 53
Sunday: 30% chance of rain, high 58

Columbia, SC
Friday: sunny, high 78
Saturday: partly cloudy, high 77
Sunday: partly cloudy, high 75

I love nothing more than going south when the weather sucks. I'm kind of like a bird.

Stadium Arcadium: A Review

Upon listening to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers' album, something unusual happened: I knew how I felt about it. Generally upon listening to a newly released album, I have to hear it a couple times before I really start to enjoy it. But what makes this album a good one is that it gives you more; more songs, more music styles, more instumentals. Upon hearing the 28 track double disc album, I was amazed that they could fill about 2 hours of disc space with good music as the styles shifted gears between rock, funk, and hip-hop. Flea is incredible when the album goes into funky instrumental mode. I read some other reviews of the album and the negative ones criticized the album for being too soft. I can see where they are coming from, but the soft times make he album listenable for 2 hours. The weakness they point out may be a strength as the instrumental and vocal interludes round out the rest of the songs. The most amazing thing about this album is that these are my first impressions and I'm sure that they will become stronger after listening to album a couple more times through.

Albert Pujols

Now I do not consider myself a baseball fan by any stretch of the imagination, but Albert Pujols can really make baseball exciting. During my lunch break the Cardinals were playing the Rockies and in the bottom of the 1st inning Albert came up to bat. On the third pitch he sees he knocks over the left field wall with what looked like a half swing. He is just quite amazing because anytime a pitch is thrown I get on the edge of my seat. Although it may be a little narcissistic of me to say since several people told me that I kind of look like him, but I have a man crush on him.

An Open Letter to David Blaine

Dear David Blaine,
I am sorry to hear about the failure at holding your breath for 9 minutes. I am sorry to heard about your liver and the other damage to your body. I am also sorry that you did not die in the stunt. I just wanted to point out that this makes you a failure and a liar. In very clearly said in the TV commericals that said that you would 'hold your breath for a record breaking 9 minutes or die trying.' As you can see you neither broke the record nor died. So in my book that makes you a liar. It's alright that you could not complete the stunt, but don't promise something so publically and then not follow through.
Sincerely,
Bill Stevenson

An Open Letter to Best Buy

Dear Best Buy,
Yesterday I decided that I will take all measures to never buy anything from your store until certain actions are taken. This vow came as a result of walking down the street and seeing all the Best Buy ads littered over the street, sidewalk, and yards. When I come home, I can always tell that it is a Monday when they are blanketing my front lawn. I'm tired of seeing these things everywhere and having them pollute our city. So here are couple of actions that I would like to see: 1) Connect the pages of the ads so that the seperate pages don't act like miniature sails and take off in every direction or better yet make the ads part of the newspaper like everyone else in the world, and 2) participate in some sort of recycling/anti-pollution effort to make up for the damage that you have already done. Until I see these actions taken, I will not buy anything from Best Buy. And this is not an empty threat, note that I have not been in a Walmart for about 5 years.
Sincerely,
Bill Stevenson

Inadvertent Revenge

This weekend I had to fly to Pittsburgh with my rugby team, which includes my friend Ted, the great toothbrush felon. So as we made our way through the airport I got a call from Ted asking if I was coming. At the time I was about 200 feet way from the group. I informed him of this fact and then we proceeded to work through security. Although they printed the name 'Tom' on Ted's ticket, he seemed to pass through without incident that is until we made it through security. After I sat down in the food court, I decided that I didn't want any of the food offered and so I grabbed my ticket off the table and headed to find more options closer to the gate. As I left the table I passed Ted, who was standing in line for some food. After I found another shop and got myself a cinnamon roll, Ted came storming by looking quite stressed. He came over to us and said, "Oh man...I lost my ticket and ID, can you guys look in your bags?" So we traded looks of skepticism and looked through our bag and not to our surprise found nothing. We sat there and watched Ted storm back and forth looking for his ticket. We also watched a security officer riding a Segway, which I find quite funny after watching the show 'Arrested Development.' So anyway, we sat there and made fun to Ted for being stupid and losing his ticket while he pawed through the garabage looking for his ticket and ID. At one point I believe I said that it was probably in his pocket. So the time came to board the plane and as I was in line, I reached into my pocket to get my ticket out and pulled out two envelopes, one had my name on it and the other had the name of 'Tom.' So I yelled out, "Hey Ted, I found your ticket. I was in my pocket." This made Ted rather mad. A good laugh was had by all, except for Ted who I'm fairly sure put me on his 'People to Get Back at List.' But in my book it made us even. To complete the madness, our coach (who also publically ridiculed Ted for being stupid and also smelly) lost his ticket on the return trip. It's all karma.

Lying Through the Teeth

Yesterday a man name Ted proclaimed that he did not use my toothbrush. He said that was gross and he would never do that. There is not a doubt in my mind that he is lying to me. There is no other way that my toothbrush would be wet. Toothbrushes do not stay wet overnight. He was the first in the bathroom in the morning and I'm pretty sure that if my toothbrush fell in the sink or worse yet toliet he would have mentioned that when questioned. Regardless, I have purchased a new toothbrush and will let this entire nasty incident go upon completing this blog. However I have learned that this man Ted cannot be trusted when he is in the wrong.

Why I Dislike My Toothbrush

This morning, I was awoken by the sound of the shower. Since we had a rugby practice the night before, we had a couple of transients sleeping in our house. I will mention no names but lets call one Ted. After I arose from my bed and got dressed I headed into the bathroom, which Ted was just departing. As I looked at my toothbrush I noticed a small puddle underneath it. This is when fear struck. I picked it up, caressed the bristles, and my worst fears were confirmed... Ted used my toothbrush. Now I am not a clean freak or anything, but as I later stated, 'I would rather that he not do that.' What bothers me most is that Ted a very stinky breath on a regualr basis, so it is difficult to gauge what type of bacteria was lurking in his mouth. Unfortunately from this point on I will have to remember to hide my toothbrush on a regular basis, but I'm sure that Ted will just use my roommate's instead. That is fine by me.

Stability vs. Flexibility

During this boring day, I decided to walk to the bookstore with no particular purpose. After discovering that Barnes and Noble carries not homebrewing magizines, I found myself strolling through the travel section. This made me think about how to live a life. You can either have a stable life, stay in once place, hold a job for a long period of time, buy a house or condo, start a family, and see the same people day after day, or you could live a flexible life, moving from place to place, working makeshift jobs, having new experiences every day, meet new and interesting people, and not knowing exactly where you are going to end up. I know people to both of these extremes of different ages and sexes. Thus far in my adult life, I have been a very stable person, thinking of paying off debt, buying some real estate, thinking of my career over the long run. So at a young age I quickly transformed into a stable adult life while seemingly missing out on some instability that so many other younger people enjoy, such as moving abroad for studying or just the experience. Although the my stable path has me going towards a stable future, I wonder if in the future when I am forced into stability by a family, a mortage, and a career I will look back and regret that I never had the experiences that come with the flexibilty of being young.

My Dissappointing Email

I have check my email today about 20 times and only once have I actually gotten some type of message, of course a mass mailing from the NFL telling me that the new rookie jerseys are for sale. It is day like this that I wish I actually accomphished something during my weekdays, or at least someone would send me a good email to a couple of minutes.

American Politics

I have been perplexed by this entire debate over immigration. I have always believed that American politics was generally two sides trying to accomplish the same goal through different ways. But this debate seems to be different. Here you have a group of people, which are a major part of our economy and culture, that hang in political purgatory. One side says that we should give these people citizenship, while the other wants to make them felons. It also seems that there are few that take the middle ground in this debate. I don't know if that is because the extremist are louder or because of media's hyperbolical representation. And today there are going to be several hundred thousand immigrants taking the streets and some political commentors that see this as an opprotunity for the police to take the streets, check IDs, and bring in the illegals. Doesn't sound like these two sides have the same goal.