Meet the Hacks

When I went over to the Hack's house for the first time to watch a football game, I was met by my friend wearing a wrestling mask standing in a cross-armed pose blocking the front door. As I walked into the door I was introduced to his dad, whose leg was still recovering from a DWI snowmobile accident from last year. They put out a great spread and had several beers available to enjoy during the game. As we were sitting around, the new dog came over to Mr. Hack, knocked over his bloody Mary into his plastic cast, and started to lick the drink out of the cast. Fortunately the drink landed straight up and not too much landed on the carpet. Mrs. Hack ran over to clean up the mess and sat right on Mr. Hack's leg and bounced up upon hearing a rather large yelp. When she jumped up she spilled cleaning solution all over him and even in his mouth. Then he started to spit on the floor. Later on in the evening, Brother Hack pants my friend and Mr. Hack started cracking up. The night continued on when everyone started to move furniture from the garage to the upstairs bedroom. As we maneuvered a larger desk up the bend in the steps, my finger came between the corner of the desk and the corner of the wall. Then as we slid the desk up the steps, the pushers below started to push before I got out of the way and my foot got caught on the step as the corner of the desk smashed into my ankle. Mr. and Mrs. Hack were very concerned about my bumps, I was alright but I was later told that they were so concerned they wanted to give me a call the next day to make sure I was alright. What a nice and wacky family.

Interference

I was confident heading into my latest competition. I had won my last six contests and looked poised to break my father's record of nine. But as the garter flew past my head and I began to backpedal to get into position I felt a sharp shove from behind me. I turned surprised to see my father standing behind the both my brother and I. The saboteur stood looking innocent, claiming that he was trying to help us by causing some collisions and confusion, with his record looking safer than it was at the beginning of the day. His wife continually questioned why a married man was taking part in a garter toss. After a verbal lashing from several directions, he began to feel some remorse for his actions and realized his interference only increased my resolve to break his record.

Wedding Party

I walked into the church for my longest friend's rehearsal dinner surprised that this date had crept up one me so quickly. I remember last August when he called me and asked me to be a groomsman. I happily accepted, and what seemed to be a blink of an eye, I was standing in the church the day before the wedding. We went to the rehearsal dinner and started to make plans for the party bus. I called my mother and she secured the supplies for jello shots. After dinner we didn't want to call it a night, so I picked up some beer and we all headed back to my parents' house. In what turned into a night where we sat around in our basement and watched 'Ninja Warrior' and 'Walker: Texas Ranger' while enjoying a few beers and homebrewed meads, the groom's father called my mother and told her that he wanted her to send the groom home. My mom said she felt odd telling a 24-year-old man that his dad called and wanted him to come home. But after she told me, the 'wild' party in my basement concluded. And the next day he got married, after some nervous comments moments before he took the plunge.