I Hate Cell Phones

I thought I lost my cell phone one Saturday (before I started drinking). So I looked, perhaps carelessly, in the spot I thought it most likely to be. My efforts not bearing any fruit, I proceed to drink my worries away. The next day we went to buy a new cell phone, as my battery on my old phone needed to be replaced anyhow, only to later find out that one of my buddies found it in the very place that I was looking. Fast forward one week. I went to the Verizon store to return the new cell phone and activate the old one and replace the battery. Step one: return the new phone, completed without a hitch. Step two: activate the old phone. This posed a bit of a problem. Since I was not name on the account I could not activate the phone myself. So I was on a four way converation with the store clerk, my mother, and a customer service representative. I called my mom, who called customer service, who called me. It was quite fun. Step three: replace battery. I questioned the clerk if they could tell if a battery is bad. He said no and then took the battery out of the phone and started to spin it on the table. Before I could exclaim, "What the hell are you doing?" he said that the battery is no good. He proceeded to show me how a new battery will not spin on a table because they are flat, where mine battery was bloated from overcharging. Apparently with a lithium battery you cannot charge them overnight. Something I was never told. Moral of the story, I hate cell phones.